


Always With You

by Bow_Ties



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Judoon Prison, Whump, post 12x10 Timeless Children
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-11
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:14:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23595145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bow_Ties/pseuds/Bow_Ties
Summary: “Yasmin Khan”, the Doctor mumbled. “I’ll get you out of here.”The Doctor is stuck in the Judoon Prison, but she is not alone.
Relationships: Thirteenth Doctor/Yasmin Khan
Comments: 19
Kudos: 83





	Always With You

**Author's Note:**

> So after all the fluff I'm showering you with in the Fairy Tale AU, I thought it would maybe be time for some good old fashioned Whump & Angst ;) Hope you enjoy!

“I’m so sorry I got you guys dragged into this. I swear I’ll get us out.”

The Doctor was sitting cross-legged on the floor, expression serious as she let her gaze rest on each member of her fam in turn. She had to keep their spirits up. After all, it was her fault they had landed in this Judoon prison cell with her.

“They could at least give us something to eat”, Graham mumbled under his breath, not for the first time longingly glancing at the hatch in the cell door, obviously meant to pass food in through it.

“Gramps”, Ryan sighed. “Don’t you think we’ve got more important things to deal with right now?”

“Oi, I’ll have you know that I’ll be of no use to you if I don’t get at least a sandwich or something soon.”

With the boys still bickering in the background, the Doctor caught Yaz throwing her a look across the room. She felt herself smile as their eyes met, and Yaz nodded. “We’ve got this”, she said, and the Doctor, not for the first time, felt proud of her companion. Yaz had grown so much over the last two years, she had gained self-confidence and more often than not was able to keep a cool head in times of crisis. Like right now.

“Alright, fam”, the Doctor said. “This isn’t my first rodeo. Actually”, she said, scrunching up her face as an unpleasant memory swirled through her head, “my first rodeo was a nasty affair. You see, on Ykrill, they are huge fans of Earth’s Western movies, and they have these yearly cowboy games, but since they don’t have horses, they do the rodeo with Bahmin instead.  _ Massive _ lizards with spikes all over their backs. Almost lost an eye, actually. Almost lost something else, too." She winced. "Of course, I took home first prize after I -”

The Doctor stopped herself as she saw all three of her companions staring at her with lifted eyebrows. “Right”, she mumbled, suddenly feeling sheepish as she raised a hand to scratch the back of her head. “Anyway, breaking out of a Judoon prison. Super high security. The highest. But usually not without a flaw. Everything has a flaw if you look long enough! Learned that when the Sontarans captured me.”

“Doc, not trying to be offensive here, but do you actually have a plan to get us out of here?”

“Of course I do, Graham!”, the Doctor exclaimed, and she definitely  _ was _ offended by the assumption. “Well, mostly. I have an idea. More like a thought. Alright!” she finally said, throwing up her arms. “I’m working on it!”

“You got zapped here from your TARDIS, right?” Yaz asked.

The Doctor grinned. As always, Yaz was asking the good questions. “Yes I did. Instant long-range teleport. Oh! The route should still be in their teleportation devices. But we’d have to get to one of their computers.”

“That doesn’t sound great”, Ryan mumbled, kicking a little rock around with his foot. “We can’t even get out of this cell. And we haven’t seen anyone in days.”

“No, we haven’t”, the Doctor agreed. She was feeling more and more dejected by the minute. 

From the other side of the room, Graham let out a long, deep yawn. “Blimey”, he mumbled. “Does anybody even know what time it is anymore? I feel like we’ve been here for weeks.”

“Seventeen weeks and 2 days, actually”, the Doctor said. Frowning, she glanced out her little cell window, catching a glimpse of the stars outside. “You guys should try and catch some sleep. I’ll keep thinking of ways to get us out of here.”

Their faces looked less and less convinced every day now, she had noticed. “I promise”, she added, trying to convey to them that she really, really meant it. She would get them out of here. She owed it to them.

As her fam, one by one, tried to get comfortable on the stony, cold floor of the cell, the Doctor scooched back, leaning against the wall just under the window. She felt she could find rest a little bit easier when the view of the stars outside wasn’t taunting her. It was easier to dream about travelling among them again when she wasn’t faced with the reality of their current elusiveness.

Soon enough, both Graham’s and Ryan’s loud snores were filling the cell. The Doctor heard herself chuckle into the dark. Those boys really could nap anywhere.

A beat passed, then two, and finally, she heard the familiar light footsteps coming towards her across the room. Without a word, she opened up her arm, and Yaz sat down next to her pulling up her jacket across her chest as she snuggled up against the Doctor.

“Yasmin Khan”, the Doctor mumbled. “I’ll get you out of here.”

  
  


\----

  
  


When none other than Captain Jack Harkness had appeared at her doorstep two days ago, Yaz had almost simply let the door fall shut in his face. She had spent the last months desperately trying to move on, to accept the fact that the Doctor had died with her home planet, that the alien had blown herself to pieces in order to save all of them. Upon her return to her family, Yasmin had locked herself away for days, crying herself to and out of sleep until there were no more tears to shed. When she had finally emerged out of her room again, her family looked at her like they had seen a ghost.

“The Doctor is dead”, she had said, face slack.

She had explained it all to her family, then. Where she had been, who the Doctor really was, the wonders she had seen and the lives they had saved together. All four of them. The Doctor and her fam.

And then she had told them that she never wanted to talk about it all ever again. Because the Doctor was gone, and there was nothing she could do about it, except try and forget.

If only she could.

The moment she saw Jack, she was hit by her memories with full force, the impact knocking the air out of her lungs. She gasped as sounds and images flooded her brain, like a dam had broken.

_ “Ten points to Yasmin Khan!” _

_ “We can’t have a universe with no Yaz.” _

_ “Yasmin Khan, you speak my language.” _

And for the first time in months, Yaz felt the still familiar pain in her chest, the mix of elation and terror that only managed to coexist in her heart whenever she had looked into the Doctor’s eyes.

“No no no don’t close the door, please!”

Jack had stepped forward, reaching for the door, pushing against it. “The Doctor needs your help.”

“The Doctor”, Yaz said, trying to keep her breathing even. “Is dead.”

“But she isn’t!”

Yaz’s blood froze in her veins as soon as the words hit the air. It wasn’t possible. The Doctor hadn’t made it back to the TARDIS. She had been caught in the explosion, the Death Particle had taken her with her, just like everyone else still left on that planet, there was no way -

“How”, she had breathed.

“Let me explain.”

So here she was, sneaking through the corridors of a Judoon prison ship, her eyes glued on the tracker screen in her hand. If she was being honest with herself, she still couldn’t quite believe that the Doctor was alive, and she probably wouldn’t until she had seen the blonde with her own two eyes.

_ “Nothing here so far” _ , Ryan’s voice crackled over the com in her ear.

_ “Got nothing on this end either” _ , Graham’s voice followed shortly.

_ “Same here” _ , Jack chirped in. Yaz felt her heart skip a beat in her chest.  _ “Yaz, that means she should probably be somewhere close to you.” _

As if on cue, the tracker in her hand started emitting a pulsing, green light, combined with a soft beep. She lifted her eyes, looking down the corridor ahead. It had doors upon doors on both sides, and at the thought that the Doctor might be behind one of them, Yaz almost felt dizzy.

_ Courage _ , she silently told herself, and took a deep breath. As she moved down the corridor, the light of her tracker started pulsing more quickly, and she felt her heartbeat in her throat.

“Gold Star to Yasmin Khan! Always with the good questions. You lot should take her as an example.”

Yaz drew in a sharp breath.  _ The Doctor,  _ she thought, her whole body growing warm as her skin tingled and her heartbeat quickened.  _ The Doctor is alive. _

But a second later, Yaz’s elation was replaced by confusion. How did the Doctor know Yaz was here? 

Maybe this was a trap. Ever so carefully, Yaz turned towards the door that the Doctor’s voice was ringing out through.

“Stop complaining, Graham. I’ve gotten out of worse situations.”

Slowly, so slowly, Yaz took a small device out of her pocket. It was about the size of a walnut, and had a metallic glow to it. Jack had given one to all of them.

“Think of it as a master key to… everything”, he had said, grinning. 

As instructed, Yaz positioned the device in front of the door, then pulled away her hand. The metallic ball floated in place, then turned around, opening a tiny hatch on one side. A yellow-ish light shone out, enveloping the entire door, almost as if it were scanning it. A second later, Yaz heard a faint  _ click _ , and reached out just quickly enough to catch the device in her hand.

With a deep breath, she pushed open the door, stealing herself for whatever may lie behind.

The room in front of her was empty. There was nothing in there, except a sort of platform in the middle, and a small window at the very back, underneath which -

“Doctor”, Yaz exclaimed, her feet moving towards the silhouette without Yaz making the conscious choice to do so. But she knew, she knew the figure sitting underneath the window was the Doctor. Her Doctor.

Yaz rushed past the platform, throwing all caution to the wind as she fell to her knees in front of the Doctor.

As the light from the stars outside shone in, illuminating the woman sitting there, Yaz gasped.

It was the Doctor, without a doubt. But the woman looked nothing like when Yaz had last seen her. Her hair, now reaching till well beyond her shoulders, was hanging down in filthy strands, her coat was torn in multiple places, and her trousers and shirt were covered in stains.

The most harrowing thing, however, was that the Doctor, looking straight past Yaz into the darkness of her cell, was smiling.

“Doctor”, Yaz whispered. “What did they do to you?”

The Doctor frowned, still not looking at Yaz. “Don’t be silly Yaz. They haven’t done anything to me.”

And then, a beat later. “Ryan be nicer to your granddad.”

Yaz scanned the Doctor’s face, confusion and fear bubbling up in her chest. Had they tortured her? Had they driven the Doctor into losing her mind?

_ “Yaz, is everything alright down there?” _

It was Jack’s voice once again, and Yaz felt herself swallow. She wasn’t quite sure how to explain what she was seeing. “I have”, she said, not taking her eyes off the Doctor. “I have but… Jack, I think they have done something to her.”

_ “Just get her to the meeting point as quickly as possible. Those bastards will pay for what they’ve done.” _

As soon as Jack’s voice had disappeared once again, Yaz crouched closer towards the Doctor.

“Doctor”, she said softly. “Doctor, it’s Yaz. Please look at me.”

Yaz almost jumped up as the Doctor suddenly laughed, a bright, hearty laugh. “But”, the blonde finally said, still chuckling. “I’m looking right at you, Yaz.”

She felt a cold shiver run down her spine as the Doctor opened her eyes once again, looking past her.

Dread curling around her chest, Yaz slowly turned her head, following the Doctor’s gaze.

There, carved into the wall with probably nothing more than a loose rock, were three roughly sketched figures, each with a name scratched into the wall above their heads.

  
Ryan.

Graham.

Yaz.

She felt the tears sting in her eyes as she turned back to face the blonde. The Doctor, all alone for months in a cell, had done what she always did: she had tried to keep herself busy as her imagination had run away from her, except this time it had gone on for so long that she had created the illusion of her friends being there with her.

“Doctor”, she said, panic wrapping itself around her throat as the Doctor replied with a smile and a nod towards the carving on the wall.

Yaz didn’t know what to do. 

“Doctor, please, I’m here to get you out of this cell. You have to come with me.”

“Oh Yaz”, the Doctor smiled wistfully. “Yaz we’ve been over this. We need to come up with a plan first. But don’t worry, I’ve got you. I’ve always got you. I’ll get us out of here in no time.”

_ “Yaz where the hell are you guys.” _

Yaz flinched at the stressed tone in Ryan’s words.

“I’m working on it”, she hissed into her com.

_ “Jack doesn’t know how long he can keep our presence shielded from the Judoon, please hurry up.” _

Shaking her head, Yaz reached forward. She hesitated for a second, then two, then finally placed a hand on the Doctor’s arm.

“Oh”, the Doctor said, her face going soft. “Is it time to go to sleep already? Come here.”

She opened her arms, staring ahead with a silent expectation in her eyes. A moment later, she closed her arms around herself, smiling as lids dropped shut.

“My Yaz”, she mumbled into the sleeve of her own, stained, coat.

The image made Yaz’s heart break into a thousand pieces in her chest. The Doctor was imagining her, in her arms, the two of them falling asleep together.

_ The Doctor is holding me. _

Yaz did her best to try and fight down the feeling rising up in her chest at the thought. It didn’t mean anything. The Doctor, in her sadness and loneliness, was imagining the comfort of a friend. Nothing more.

“Love you, too, Yaz.”

Suddenly, the room around them felt completely quiet as Yaz sucked in her breath. The only thing she could hear was the Doctor’s breathing, soft and quiet, and her own blood rushing through her veins, thrumming into her ears, making her head spin.

“Doctor?” she whispered.

_ “Yaz! Yaz they’re onto us you have to get to the meeting point  _ now. _ ” _

The panic in Jack’s voice finally made Yaz jump into action. If the Doctor really believed that Yaz was in her arms right now, maybe she had to do something that would convince her otherwise. Something that made the blonde realise that the actual Yaz was kneeling on the floor next to her.

She didn’t see another option.

“I’m sorry”, she whispered, then leaned forward, crushing her lips against the Doctor’s.

The moment their lips touched, she felt the Doctor gasp into her mouth in surprise. A moment later, a hand snuck around her neck, pulling her closer as the Doctor’s tongue slipped into her mouth. Yaz’s entire body was on fire, and before she realised what she was doing, her hands were travelling up to the Doctor’s face, pushing her hair back as they came to rest on the blonde’s face.

The hair. The hair that was way too long, so much longer than she remembered -

Reality crashed into her with full force, and Yaz suddenly pulled back.

“Doctor we have to get you out of here”, she said, standing up and reaching a hand out for the Doctor to take.

“That felt much nicer than usually”, the Doctor mumbled, her eyes still closed, a blissful smile on her lips.

_ Much nicer than… _ “Oh”, Yaz said, her cheeks instantly turning a fiery red. Apparently holding Yaz in her arms wasn’t the only thing the Doctor had imagined while she had been alone. Yaz tried to file that information away for later. They would have plenty of time to talk about all this on the TARDIS, once the Doctor had spent a night in the ship’s medbay.

She tried to calm down the excitement rushing through her veins as she bent down towards the Doctor again “Doctor, we really gotta go”, she urged, unable to entirely fight down her own smile.

_ The Doctor loves me _ .

The words ran through her mind over and over again.

_ The Doctor loves me. _

But then the Doctor opened her eyes, and Yaz felt like she wanted to scream.

The blonde, once again, was staring at the carving on the wall.

It hadn’t worked.

“I’m glad you’re here with me”, the Doctor said. “Wouldn’t know what I’d do without you. Yasmin Khan.”

Feeling utterly defeated, Yaz fell onto her knees, a sob escaping her as she ran a hand through her hair, grabbing a fistful and tugging on it.

“I don’t know what to do”, she sobbed, tears now streaming freely down her face. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Oh Yaz”, the Doctor breathed. “You’ll figure something out. You always do.”

“Doctor”, Yaz said, reaching out for the blonde’s hands and taking them into her own. “I can’t lose you again. I can’t.”

Biting her bottom lip so hard she could taste blood on her tongue, Yaz lifted one of the Doctor’s hands, pressing it against her cheek as her tears kept falling.

Something changed, then. Yaz didn’t notice it at first, but something returned to the Doctor’s eyes. A sort of clarity, if it could be called so already, a small spark that had once been a fire.

“Yaz?” the Doctor spoke quietly. “Yaz why are you crying?”

For the first time since Yaz had arrived, the Doctor sounded worried, distressed even. 

“You haven’t cried this whole time”, the blonde whispered. “Why are you crying now, Yaz? Yaz.” She sounded increasingly panicked, and she suddenly sat upright against the wall, her eyes roaming over the room. “Yaz why are you crying?”

“Because I love you. I love you, and I can’t bear the thought of losing you all over again because… because it would kill me, Doctor.”

The words had left Yaz’s mouth before she could think about them, and as soon as they were spoken, the Doctor’s head turned.

And then, finally, she looked straight into Yaz’s eyes.

“Yaz”, she said, eyes wide. “Yaz you’re here. You’re… real?”

Yaz nodded, eager to reassure the Doctor. “Yes, yes I am”, she replied, her hands trembling as she put her free one of the Doctor’s shoulder. “And I’m going to bring you home.”

“Home”, the Doctor said, blinking slowly, and then again, with a hint of hope in her voice: “Home.”  
  


“ _Mo sho blo sho._ ”  
  


Yaz jumped to her feet before the Doctor could say anything more, grabbing the woman’s arm, pulling her to her feet before she could protest.

“We gotta run.”

The Doctor nodded, and a moment later, they were rushing down the hallways, hand in hand as they dashed around corners, ducking away from patrols, finally seeing a familiar blue box at the end of a corridor.

“Home”, the Doctor breathed once more as they finally crashed through the doors and back into safety.

  
  


\---

  
  


The TARDIS corridors were emitting a soft blue glow as Yaz walked through them. Sleep had refused to come to her after the events of the last days. Again and again, the same thoughts kept running through her minds in an eternal loop, sending blood rushing through her veins and causing her chest to feel like it was about to explode, from pain or from joy, Yaz wasn’t quite sure.

The Doctor was alive.

She had been driven close to losing her mind.

Yaz had kissed the Doctor.

The Doctor loved her?

The Doctor had been alone and in pain for months.

Yaz hadn’t gone looking for her before Jack had shown up.

The Doctor had kissed her back.

After they had found their way back to the TARDIS and Jack had thrown them safely back into the Time Vortex, he had brought the Doctor to the medbay. There she had slept, for days on end, her head covered in electrodes, attached to the metal coils of a curious looking machine.

“The TARDIS will go into her mind and try to heal her”, Jack had said, tone serious. Leaning against the doorframe to the medbay, his eyes, filled with worry, had rested on the Doctor’s unmoving body. “Time Lords are not meant to be left alone for that long”, he had finally added.

Yaz, Graham and Ryan had been well aware of the implications of what Jack had been saying. The TARDIS was  _ trying _ to heal the Doctor’s broken mind. None of them knew if she would come out the same person that they had left behind on Gallifrey.

_ We left her behind _ .

Not for the first time, the thought had settled at the forefront of Yaz’s mind, guilt clenching around her heart like an iron fist and refusing to let her go. No matter how often she told herself that the Doctor had left them no choice, that she had tried to stop the alien, the bitter feeling stayed behind. It didn’t help that they had all so willingly accepted her death as a fact.

Yaz blinked as she realised that her feet had led her to the console room. The room was plunged in darkness, except for the soft glow of the stars, shining in through the open doors. She frowned as she walked towards them. Had somebody else been driven here by sleeplessness, and left the doors open as they had returned to their room?

As she stepped towards the door, reaching out for its handles, she stopped in her tracks as her eyes fell upon the stars outside. She couldn’t stop her heart from fluttering in her chest as she recognised the constellation outside.   


_ “I present to you: the Triangulum Galaxy! This one can actually be seen from earth, with the naked eye. Well, if your vision is as good as mine, anyway.” _

_ The Doctor turned to her, smiling.  _

_ “If you ever can’t sleep, come find me and I’ll bring the TARDIS here. You can look at the stars for as long as you need, and I’m sure you’ll find the calm you need.” _

_ “Thank you, Doctor”, Yaz said, and, pushing down all her fears, she reached for the Doctor’s hand. It was soft and warm in hers, and she wished she would never have to let it go again. _

One day _ , she thought.  _ One day I’ll have the courage to tell you.

  
  


“Yaz.”

The voice came from behind her, and it was so much smaller than it had just sounded in Yaz’s memories. Frowning, Yaz turned around and at first she couldn’t see anything, her eyes readjusting to the darkness in front of her. Then, as the room came back into focus, she saw the Doctor, sitting with her back against the console, her knees pulled up to her chest.

“Doctor”, Yaz breathed, walking towards the woman and crouching down next to her. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah”, the blonde replied, a strained smile on her lips. “I just needed to look at the stars, that’s all.”

“Should you be out of the medbay?”

Yaz was leaning forward, trying to look the Doctor over in the dark, although she was very well aware that the blonde’s true injuries were invisible ones.

“I’m fine”, the Doctor mumbled, unconvincingly.

Yaz, suddenly aware how close she was to the other woman, pulled back, her cheeks burning. Yet she was almost instantly stopped by the Doctor’s hand wrapping itself around her own.

“Please don’t go.”

It was barely more than a whisper, and Yaz felt a pang in her chest as the Doctor looked up at her, eyes pleading.

“I’m not going to”, she finally said as she sat down next to the Doctor, their fingers still intertwined.

They sat in silence for a while then, pondering the swirling glow of red and white shimmering outside. As always, the view managed to finally calm Yaz’s racing thoughts, and she hoped that it was doing the same for the woman next to her.

“Are you the real Yaz?”

Yaz felt her stomach turn at the question, and she quickly turned her head towards the Doctor, squeezing the blonde’s hand tighter in hers. “Yes”, she said quickly. “Yes I am.”

The Doctor nodded, slowly, never taking her eyes off of Yaz. Taking the Doctor’s free hand, she moved it up to her cheek, letting it rest on the warm skin.

“There”, she said, smiling. “It’s me.”

Slowly, the expression on the Doctor’s face morphed into something softer, and a curious look appeared in her eyes. And then, ever so carefully, she leaned in towards Yaz, stopping just before their lips could touch.

Everything around them was quiet, and even the TARDIS seemed to hold her breath as her usual whirring and wheezing fell silent. The Doctor’s eyes roamed over Yaz’s face, as if to analyse it for every little detail that could mean that this was all a figment of her imagination after all.

Yaz sat still, waiting for the Doctor, knowing she had to let the woman move at her own pace. As the tip of the blonde’s fingers grazed over her temple, she answered the question in her eyes with a nod. A moment later, she felt a gentle presence, just at the edge of her mind. It felt oddly comforting, and intimate in a way that Yaz hadn’t expected. Closing her eyes, she leaned into the feeling, conscious of their proximity, now both physical and mental.

“It’s you”, the Doctor finally breathed against her lips, and Yaz could feel a shiver run down her spine.

“Yes”, she replied softly, her eyes still closed. “It’s me.”

_ And I love you _ , she wanted to add.  _ I love you and I’m so sorry that I left you alone. _

Suddenly, the Doctor’s lips were on her own, and warmth exploded across her chest as the blonde pulled her close. The kiss was soft and gentle, yet filled to the brim with unspoken feelings, poured into every movement of their lips.

_ I love you, too. _

Yaz felt, more than heard, the words being spoken into her mind, and she pulled the Doctor closer, overcome with a want to hold and protect the other woman, for as long as she could.

When they finally broke apart, Yaz opened her arms, letting the Doctor curl into her side.

“You’re going to be okay”, she said, stroking the Doctor’s hair with one hand, placing soft kisses on the top of her head.

They stayed like that throughout the night, the Doctor’s arms slung around Yaz’s waist as she held onto her, until Yaz finally succumbed to sleep, her cheek resting on the Doctor’s head.

Her hearts pounding in her chest, the Doctor, without turning her head, finally dared to peak into the corner next to her TARDIS’s doors.

Her breath caught in her throat as soon as she laid eyes on her. There she was, the Other Yaz, smiling at her as she looked straight into her eyes.

Wrapping her arms tighter around Yaz, the Doctor screwed her eyes shut.

_ I’m going to be okay _ , she told herself as she breathed in the scent of Yaz’s skin.

The Real Yaz, whose breath she could feel through the soft rise and fall underneath her own cheek.

The Real Yaz, right here in her arms.

The Real Yaz.

She heard the footsteps coming towards her, and felt the touch of a hand on her arm.

_ The Real Yaz _ , she told herself, again and again as her fingers dug into the back of the woman’s blouse.

She was holding the Real Yaz.

Was she?

**Author's Note:**

> : )
> 
> Thank you for reading! If you have a minute, consider leaving a comment, they literally make my day :)
> 
> You can find me on tumblr as @fuxdeiflswued


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